I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
