at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
