Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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