Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
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