I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
