in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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