Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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