i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
