You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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