The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
