I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
