Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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