He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
