He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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