so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
