Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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