wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
