She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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