I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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