AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
