..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
