i just google imaged poop.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
