she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
