I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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