Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
