I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
