Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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