apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
