Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
