piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
