Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
