see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
