Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
