I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
