so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
