k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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