SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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