I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
