apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
