Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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