The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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