all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
