Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
