Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
