Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
