He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
