i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
