i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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