i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
