I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
